Top 10 Reasons NOT To Buy A SoffiaB Robe

 

• I feel just fine thank you!  I don’t need you or SoffiaB telling me I don’t feel ok.  I felt just fabulous this morning after I shouted at the neighbour and I don’t need a new robe to help me with that!

 

• Too much choice all those different colours and vibrant patterns, women should stick to one colour like I do, preferably black it suits everyone, plus you don’t have to change for funerals.

 

• So what if they make their robes in New York’s Garment District, who cares, they could be made in the North Pole for all I care, maybe that lay-about fellow who only works one night a year could lend SoffiaB some of his elves!?! 

 

• Hand finished you say?  Yuk all those germs around, no thank you I don’t want my stuff hand finished, a machine is much better, far less germs!

 

• Linings are so overrated 100% breathable cotton or not, and that’s the last I’m going to say on it. 

 

• I never iron anything so whether the silk wrinkles or not is neither here nor there and I certainly wouldn’t pay for non-crumply silk.  Honestly those worms don’t do much else except lie around all day, the least they can do is make smooth silk. 

 

• Beautifully wrapped pah!  I don’t even like gold boxes and they’re probably that robust card which is useless for swatting flies!  The same with the gold tissue paper, why not wrap it in newspaper and then at least I can get those pesky flies!   

 

• There’s no such thing as a free lunch and I bet SoffiaB will charge you if you want your robe delivered straight to your bedroom, if I have to get up to answer the door, what’s the point? 

 

• So what about “free” returns, they will make you pack it up yourself and drop it at the UPS store won’t they, if you want something done you have to do it yourself, no service these days! 

 

• Why on earth would I want to give anything to anybody??  Easy gift to buy?  Waste of money giving gifts, everyone’s always ungrateful regardless, no, my money is staying firmly under the mattress!

 

Yours grumpily - Ms I M Curmudgeon (also known as Ms Bah Humbug)

P.S.  Yes I am well aware there are 11 items here, given more time I am sure I could come up with at least another 23!!